


Fifth Position

by bri_ness



Series: Eight Count [2]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dance, Established Relationship, Eva POV, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-10-09 14:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17408828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bri_ness/pseuds/bri_ness
Summary: Eva has a steady dance career and relationship with Jonas. When one of her pieces featuring Isak and Even goes viral, she has to determine what she wants from her career and her relationship.





	1. First

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise?
> 
> This is a companion to Eight Count, taking place approximately one year later from Eva's POV. While Eight Count was meant to be a cheesy dance movie AU, I hope this story is a more grounded, realistic picture of what it's like to be figuring out your life in your 20s, especially in a creative field. (There may be a little self-projection involved, but that's what fic is for!). That said, there will of course still be cheesy dance scenes, because they're fun. 
> 
> Thanks to Rino for being the biggest supporter of this universe and always humouring my requests for validation. You're the best.

Eva begins every year at the barre.

Cycling through the same warm-ups she was taught as a child, she stretches and strengthens, moving through positions that are as natural to her as walking. Though her style’s far from classical ballet, it’s a comfort to know she has this foundation to come back to when she’s uninspired, when her body isn’t moving the way it did at sixteen.

It’s the only New Year’s tradition she’s kept. No resolutions—Jonas says they’re soul commercials, designed to convince people that they can’t be satisfied until they achieve something, usually with the help of a gym membership or overpriced journal. Eva thinks it’s kind of shitty to criticize people for trying to improve themselves, but she agrees with him because it’s easier than admitting she doesn’t know what the fuck she wants. Her relationship is good. Her friends are better. Her career is fine. She’s probably not satisfied, but maybe she is if she can’t identify what’s missing.

More than recording her resolutions in one of those overpriced journals on New Year’s Eve, Eva misses spending New Year’s Day with Isak. Both needing to recover from spending Christmas with their shit families, they’d share a greasy pizza and celebrate their relationship as one worth celebrating.

It’s different this year. Isak has a new relationship to celebrate, now marked by a ring around his finger. And it’s great, Even’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him, but a change in Isak’s life is a change in Eva’s that she has no control over.

Leaving the barre and grabbing her phone, Eva checks Instagram, immediately clicking on Isak’s profile. Posted last night, his hand over Even’s, showcasing their engagement without saying a word. Eva’s comment is buried: caught up in her own New Year’s Eve with Jonas, she didn’t see the announcement until hours after it happened. And she texted Isak before commenting: _You couldn’t fucking call me?!_ To which he replied: _Sorry, busy being engaged._

It will be different this year.

Going from Isak’s profile to her feed, the first post Eva sees is from Ingrid. She’s also in the studio, but she looks ready for a photoshoot and not rehearsal. The caption is enough to give Eva a headache.

_New year, new me?! Well, not exactly. :) I want to be the same me, but an upgraded version—Ingrid 2.0!  What does that mean? Focus on my HEALTH instead of my APPEARANCE. Choreograph pieces that are UNIQUE instead of TRENDY. Devote my energy to my RELATIONSHIPS instead of MYSELF (though that doesn’t mean neglecting self-care!!!). I’ll share the HIGHS and LOWS of this journey on here and my YouTube channel, so make sure you follow/subscribe! May 2019 be YOUR best year ever! <3_

Eva screenshots it and texts it to Isak, saying: _2019 is already cancelled. Ingrid discovered caps lock._

In the past year, Ingrid’s gotten really fucking popular, though not entirely as a dancer. She’s used the small platform she had from dance to launch her career as a social media influencer, which would be a joke if she weren’t so successful at. It’s in sharp contrast to Eva’s 2018 where, after nearly giving up entirely, she scrounged a career together with whatever jobs she could get. Having grown-up on the competition circuit, she used her connections to start choreographing solos for everyone from her former competitors’ younger siblings to one of her dance teacher’s kids. She got an agent, and that agent got her a couple commercials as a choreographer and a music video as a dancer. She got Elias and his crew to direct and film Eight Count pieces specifically for YouTube, and monetized them. And when she still doesn’t have enough money to pay her bills, she helps her aunt with everything at the studio from teaching to running the front desk.

Eva is not jealous that Ingrid’s made a living off of workout videos and green smoothie recipes anyone with half a brain could come up with, but she is jealous that more people watch Ingrid’s dancing because of it. 

Eva’s Instagram scrolling is interrupted by a reply from Isak.

**Isak**

I have a New Year’s resolution for you

Oh good  
I love unsolicited advice

Stop checking Ingrid’s Instagram 2019  
She does this lifestyle bullshit because her choreo can’t stand on its own

While mine is getting millions of views

Youngblood’s doing ok

That’s actually true. Youngblood is a piece she choreographed for Isak and Even, complete with a lot of lifts, a lot of passion, and a lot of gratuitous close-ups courtesy of Elias’s direction. It’s by far her most successful video, though most of the comments are about how cute Isak and Even are together rather than anything about the piece itself.

 **Isak**  

I can see the headline now  
These Two Dancers Will Make You Believe in Love Again

Fuck no

Don’t worry, you’re safe  
I’ll never get good stats until I do a Get Ready With Me  
Or What I Eat in a Day

Speaking of  
Let me in before the pizza gets cold

Eva’s confused until there’s loud, rapid knocking on the studio’s front door. When she opens it to find Isak, pizza in hand, she says, “Thought you were busy being engaged.”

“We were last night.” Isak grins then adds, “And this morning.”

“Gross.”

“But come on, this is our thing. Did you think I wouldn’t come?”

Eva shrugs away her answer.

“ _Wow_ ,” Isak says. “I’m hurt. And offended. And—"

“Shut up and come inside.”

They get set-up with paper plates and napkins, laying the pizza out in the middle of the studio floor. “Since I bought the pizza,” Isak says. “You’re cleaning up.”

Eva flips him off as she takes a slice, absolutely oozing with grease. “Holy fuck, how does this manage to get worse every year?”

“It’s like a New Year’s resolution in reverse.”

“Maybe we should get it from somewhere else next year.”

“Next year,” Isak says, then finishes his slice instead of finishing his thought. It doesn’t matter: Eva can always fill in the blanks with him. Next year, Isak will have graduated and started his Master’s. He could resign from Eight Count. He might move. And, more significantly than any of that…

“Dude,” Eva says, shoving his shoulder. “You’re getting married. To _Even Bech Næsheim_. All those years stalking him really paid off.”

Isak smiles, playing with his ring. Eva doesn’t know if she’ll get used to seeing it on his hand. It’s just fucking weird for your best friend to suddenly have such a strong, public commitment to someone else. Eva can’t imagine doing that, and maybe that’s why when she showed the Instagram announcement to Jonas, she secretly hoped that he didn’t get any ideas.

“I want,” Isak says, then pauses. Eva used to remind him to take a beat when he was stressed, angry, or unsure of his thoughts, but he does it on his own now. Eva still needs his reminders. “I want this year to be really fucking good. Because Even deserves my best, you know?”

Some people underestimate how much Isak cares, especially since he used to work hard not to show it, but Eva never has. He’s always fought to be a better dancer, a better friend, and just a better person in general—even when he’s already doing a damn good job. She hopes Even understands how fucking lucky he is.

“Just remember that ‘your best’ also deserves his love.”

“He’s good at reminding me of that.”

“Good.”

Eva would be happy to stay on this topic, but Isak has a different idea. “What about you?” he asks. “What do you want this year?”

If Eva learned anything in school, it was how to bullshit.

“You know, good things for Eight Count. And with Jonas. That’s all, really.”

“So you don’t want Ingrid’s lifestyle, creating pseudoscience videos about the benefits of celery juice?”

“No, but I want her followers.”

“Have you ever actually read her comments? Trust me, you don’t.” When Eva doesn’t respond, Isak continues, “But hey, try not to get discouraged. It’s not like she’s a better choreographer than you.”

“I know.”

“And you know I’ll choreograph another inspirational dance for you if you think about giving up. Even encourages cheesy gestures.”

Eva laughs. “I can tell, but don’t worry. I’m not giving up.”

She’s just not sure what she’s fighting for now. 

\---

Eva always takes the same tram from the studio to Jonas’s.

She uses the time to listen to new music, choreographing in her head, discerning when her sparks of inspiration have the potential to become something more substantial. It’s part of her routine, no different than warming up before rehearsal or cooling down after it. It refreshes her brain.

Nothing remarkable is supposed to happen on the tram.

Eva’s listening to Feels a Lot Like Love by Anchor and Bell, a song that’s at once earnest, hesitant, and sweet. It would be a contemporary piece—maybe with Noora? She’d capture the subtlety of it, and then she could be partnered with Yousef since restraint is his strength even if contemporary isn’t. But that might be too predictable, and the simplicity of the song almost calls for a sharper contrast—like Chris and Mutta. They don’t have the technique, but the uncertainty in their movement would reflect the uncertainty in the lyrics. And, they have fucking good chemistry.

When Eva goes to record notes in her phone, she sees more notifications than she knows how to process.

Instagram followers and mentions, YouTube subscribers—the steady rise she’s seen since Youngblood has spiked into something that will completely fuck with her analytics. Scrolling through the Instagram mentions, she sees screenshots and clips of Youngblood with captions like _Sooo I’m crying_ and _this is the best thing i’ve ever seen wtf?_ Most of the posts are in English, and while Youngblood was getting some international attention, Eva never thought it would be on this scale.

Eva realizes the source when she gets a text from her agent, Eline, with a link to an article: _These Dancers Will Give You Goosebumps._ On BuzzFeed.

Fucking _BuzzFeed_. 

Eva clicks through to the article, full of GIFs of Youngblood. It says things like _You’ll marvel at their strength…_ followed by _…Then weep at their chemistry._ At the end of the article, there’s a picture of Isak and Even from Even’s Instagram. It reads: _The dancers are Isak Valtersen and Even Bech Næsheim from Norway. While Even’s appeared in class videos from choreographers like Julian Sanchez and Tilly West, Isak is a relative newcomer._

Then, a screenshot of the engagement announcement on Isak’s Instagram. _The best part? They’re a real-life couple AND they got engaged on New Year’s Eve. We’re hoping for a video of the first dance_. 

Eva is not mentioned, but the video links to her YouTube channel, and that’s enough. Checking her analytics, she realizes people are commenting on her older videos as well—especially if they feature Isak and Even.

_omg is this evak’s first dance together???_

_Why is Isak dancing with some girl in this one :(_

_This choreo though!!!_

Coming up to her stop, Eva texts Eline back: _Holy shit._ She’s too shocked to be professional.

When she reaches Jonas’s, he greets her like it’s any other day she took the tram from rehearsal to his place, because why would it be anything else? There’s kissing, he gets them drinks, then they settle on his couch and talk about their days. Jonas is working on some assignment Eva does not pay attention to the details of because holy shit, _BuzzFeed._ She tells him that Isak came to the studio and just talked because holy shit, _BuzzFeed._

How do you tell a constant in your life that yours may be changing?

“How’s Isak now that he’s engaged?” Jonas asks.

Right. _That_.  “The same, but happier.”

“That’s awesome.”

Eva’s answer is true, but she regrets voicing it: what if Jonas thinks she’s hinting at something? “But I mean, they’re ready for it. They knew they were going to get married after like, a month.”

“I guess you know when you’re meant to be with someone.”

Jonas smiles at her. Eva tries to smile back.

She loves him. Loves that he’s passionate even when he’s a bit obnoxious about it. Loves that he’s pursuing journalism because he wants to expose and ultimately correct injustices. Loves that he’s fucking good to the people in his life.

He has always supported her, always encouraged her to dance no matter the outcome. Though Eva never doubted his intentions, she did doubt if it came from an actual belief in her. It’s pretty fucking easy for someone whose dreams have always come true to tell you to follow yours, because of course things will work out! They always do! She knows it’s not fair to resent Jonas for that, but brains don’t always care if an emotion is fair or not.

But now, she’s, apparently, having actual success, success Eline can turn into more success. And neither of them really predicted this.

Eva doesn’t know how to navigate this, if her and Jonas can do so together without getting lost. So in this moment, it’s easier not to show him his phone; it’s not like Jonas will go to _BuzzFeed_ on his own. And it’s easier not to talk about their future, whether that’s moving in together, or marriage—because Eva doesn’t even know what she wants her future to be. How the fuck can she figure Jonas into it?

“Something up with you?” Jonas asks.

Eva plays dumb. “No? Why?”

“Nothing, you’re just quiet."

“I’m tired, I guess. Post-holiday funk.”

“Oh.”

Isak calling saves Eva from their riveting conversation. Normally she takes his calls in front of Jonas, but this time she goes into his bedroom for privacy.

“So, I checked Instagram,” Isak says when he answers. “And holy shit.”

“That’s what I said.”

“What happens now?”

“I don’t fucking know. I need to meet with Eline.”

“Yeah. You know people are going back and commenting shit on my pictures with Julian? It’s fucking weird.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. This is a good thing, right?”

“I think so.”

“I’m nervous for Even to see it. He’s tried to get away from all this.”

“I haven’t told Jonas.”

There’s a beat on the other end of the phone, then, “He’ll be really fucking happy for you.”

“Sure. But it’s—”

“Fucking weird.”

“Exactly.”

Jonas is a constant in her life, but Isak is the constant, and Eva’s grateful they’ll go through this together. 


	2. Second

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me preface this by saying: turns out, it's hard to write a character whose whole thing is that she doesn't know what she wants. It's basically the antithesis of storytelling lol. So I apologize if this feels muddled, but I hope you can find some truth in it as I furiously project myself onto Eva. :)

Eva begins every morning with improv.

Or at least, she fits it in somewhere between coffee, checking Instagram, and kissing or doing a little more with Jonas. And if she’s hungover or just fucking tired, _morning_ begins at about one in the afternoon. It’s not a rigid routine, but it is a consistent one—

Most days.

It was her aunt who instilled the habit in her, citing its benefits like it was medication. _Expands creativity. Increases trust in your instincts. Strengthens faith in your body. Allows you to understand the feelings you can’t name._ That last one is still the most incredible thing about dance to Eva: her body can access her soul in a way her brain can’t.

Improv usually works exactly as promised, an all-in-one prescription for mental blocks, self-doubt, body image issues, and apathy. And then there are mornings like this, where Eva’s shuffling through her music without committing to anything.

It’s not that she’s uninspired. She stretches to Sleeping at Last, creating shapes by extending herself; she’s fierce to Little Mix, showcasing femininity through strength; she’s intricate with Kendrick Lamar, isolating her body to each nuance in his lyrics.

But there’s a disconnect, her body and soul not communicating with each other like she needs them to. It’s almost like she’s outside of herself, and that sensation grows when she stops dancing and checks her phone.

A calendar reminder for today’s meeting with Eline, even though she was supposed to be on vacation until next week. Constant messages from the Eight Count group chat with everyone agreeing to meet this afternoon, when they usually all have excuses. Instagram DMs from people who Eva followed long before they followed her, offering congratulations and proposing collaborations.

This is just not her life, and Eva doesn’t come back to herself until she feels two familiar hands on her waist, holding her in reality.

“Morning.”

Jonas’s voice, low and slow, is a comfort, as is the kiss he places on her shoulder. It’s warmth and safety, it’s kind of sexy, and best of all….

“Oh my God,” Eva says, turning around in his arms to face him. “You brushed your teeth.”

“Aren’t you impressed?”

“Very.”

“Thought you might be giving me a hint,” Jonas says. “Since you got out of bed before we could….”

Jonas punctuates his thought by trailing his thumb along Eva’s waist, simple enough to make her shiver. Before him, most of her relationships started and ended with sex, though they weren’t all as casual as that would suggest. She just communicates better with her body than words: more truthful, a little playful, open in a way her brain usually protects her from being. When she hooked up with like-minded people, they connected in a way people outside their relationship couldn’t understand. She’s been judged for it, usually from people _expressing their concern,_ but she knows her relationships were meaningful if not traditional.

And it started that way with Jonas too, one of the few non-dancers she’s been with who is vulnerable with his body while also knowing how to have fun with it. The difference is they preserved their connection in all aspects of their relationship, their conversation always flirty and usually honest.

So when omissions and outright lies sneak in, which they are both guilty of, Eva longs to go back to bed, to lean into Jonas’s touch and experience their relationship in a way she knows will satisfy. As desperate as she is to do that now, and she senses Jonas feels the same, she has another life to get to.

“No time,” Eva says, stepping out of Jonas’s grasp before she gets stuck there. “I’m meeting with Eline in like, thirty minutes.”

“Today? I thought she was off for a bit.”

“Change of plans, I guess.”

“That’s a good sign, right? Maybe she has something awesome for you.”

“Like a tampon commercial where I’m comfortable enough to do the splits in a white dress?” Eva did go on that audition. She did not book it.

“I’m serious. You’ve been kicking ass lately. People are going to notice.”

Eva risks a glance at her phone, evidence that people are noticing. When Jonas follows her gaze, she quickly shoves it in her hoodie’s pocket. “I should go,” she says. “I don’t want to miss the tram.”

“Are you coming back here after?”

“I have Eight Count rehearsal.”

“Ok, then after that? Or do you want me to come over to yours?”

Eva shrugs. “Whatever. I can come here if that’s easier.”

“You know what would be easiest?”

Of course she does. Eva nods instead of voicing it.

“Isn’t your lease up in a few months, anyway?” Jonas asks.

“How romantic.”

“I’m just saying. There’s room here, and we’d save a lot of money.”

Eva bristles. “I don’t need your money.”

Jonas rolls his eyes. “I didn’t say that, fuck. And ok, forget the lease, forget the money. You’re already here all the time, I like that, I think you like it too, so…why not?”

It is a perfectly fair question Eva knows she’s being unfair by not answering, but telling Jonas she’s not ready for a commitment seems worse than silence. She settles on, “I’ll think about it.”

After saying goodbye, Jonas lets her leave for her other life.

\---

Though Eva considers herself a relatively grounded person, movies did give her an unrealistic image of what an agent would be like.

Eline is young, somewhere in her thirties, not even ten years older than Eva herself. Her idea of professional attire is the same as Eva’s: whatever blouses and cardigans are on clearance at department stores. She has a cubicle instead of an office, and excitedly tells Eva that she was able to book the good meeting room because most everyone’s off this week.

Eva’s become her friend, building trust that’s only helped their working relationship. Eline may be inexperienced, but she’s good at what she does, and Eva recognizes that this is as big of an opportunity for Eline as it is for her.

And Eva always does right by her friends, so. As fucking weird as this BuzzFeed thing is, Eva plans to do whatever Eline tells her to.

“Ok,” Eline says once they’re settled in the meeting room. “First, how are you handling all of this?”

“I’m a bit overwhelmed, to be honest.”

“Totally normal,” Eline says as though either of them have been through this before. “But Eva, this is great news. We can leverage this as long as we work quickly. Your YouTube channel is getting a lot of attention now, right?”

“More like Isak and Even are getting a lot of attention on it.”

“It all reflects back on you, though. You want to release new videos while people are still catching up with your old ones: show them you’re someone who puts out frequent, quality content.”

“I mean, it takes time to choreograph.”

“Then put out behind-the-scenes vlogs, get people invested in you and your company. Right now, you’ll want to feature Isak and Even as much as you can, but that’s a way to get people to care about the other dancers too. I know that’s important to you.”

It is. Eva has eight damn talented dancers behind her, and even when she’s working on projects without them, their influence colours everything she does. She would not have any kind of career without Eight Count. “Ok,” she says. “We can do that.”

Eline continues: she’s in talks with BuzzFeed about an interview, though they’ll want Isak and Even as well. Eva needs to take local choreographers up on their offers to collaborate. And, they should consider investing in a trip to L.A. for Eva to take class from some of the top choreographers who now know her name.

“Would that really be worth it?” Eva asks. “Just for classes?”

“To build your network? Absolutely, especially if your ultimate goal is to be part of that scene.” 

That should be every dancer’s dream, Eva knows that, but she’s never considered that it could be a real possibility for her. She’s getting ahead of herself to even consider that now, but maybe this is permission to dream bigger

“One more thing,” Eline says. “I’ve also been talking to Ingrid’s agent. It would be good for both of you to collaborate, maybe choreograph something together and do a Q&A vlog. People will be interested in your history.”

“We have pretty different audiences,” Eva says, trying to find ways out of this that are more professional than saying _I don’t want to._ “And we don’t really click, so I don’t know how we’ll read on camera.”

“Dancers are actors, right? Plus, you need her audience.”

Eva’s starting to imagine it: a bigger audience means more people see her work, period. It means more money, which means less odd jobs around the studio. That means more time to choreograph.

And collaborating with other choreographers, going to L.A….that’s a network, and that’s more opportunities. It could eventually lead to an international career, and that’s it, right? That’s the dream she’s supposed to have?

“Eva,” Eline says. “This is your fifteen minutes of fame, but we have the power to extend it. This is your chance to point your career in the direction you want.”

Eva still does not know where that is, but her map’s a little bigger than before.

\---

When Eva gets to the studio, she inadvertently walks into a video shoot.

She notices Mikael with his camera first, half-listening to Elias’s instructions to get different shots for B-roll _._ Their plans are thwarted by Mutta entering the shot with his arm around Vilde, saying, “Alright, we’ve read the comments, so let me introduce you to your queen: Vilde. You already know she’s versatile as hell, but she also does all of our costuming and make-up. How badass is that?”

“I’ll do hair and make-up tutorials on Instagram live, so be sure to follow me!” Vilde says.

“Awesome, awesome,” Mutta says. “Ok, let’s find Mahdi next.”

As he moves on, Noora notices that Eva’s joined whatever’s going on here. “Thank God,” Noora says, going in for a hug. “Sanity has entered the room.”

“What’s happening, exactly?” Eva asks.

“They’re ‘building Eight Count’s brand,’” she says. “Adam’s somewhere talking about t-shirts. Good thing fame isn’t getting to our heads, right?”

Noora smirks, but Eva shrugs. “I mean, Eline told me to do this kind of thing. And those guys are good at it, so.”

“Holy shit, Eva!” Mutta says, his attention drawing everyone else’s to her. He approaches her, Mikael following with his camera. “Listen guys, Eva? She’s not only the mastermind behind this whole operation, but also the heart. She’s built a family here. Eight Count!”

He yells their name like the beginning of a call and response, but is only met with, “Dude, we’ve never done that,” from Yousef.

“Well cut that,” Mutta says quickly. “Eva, talk to us about what’s next for Eight Count. What kind of pieces can people look forward to?”

“Uh, more like Youngblood,” she says, improvising. “Really intimate, intense stuff. But there’ll be some different things, too.”

“Specific,” Mikael mumbles.

“Whatever it is, it’s going to be fucking awesome,” Mutta says into the camera, then to Mikael, “Be sure to get lots of rehearsal shots, yeah? Get people hyped.”

Mikael gives him a halfhearted thumbs up as Eva scans the room. Vilde’s taking selfies with Chris. Mahdi’s in a corner talking to Adam, presumably about t-shirts. Yousef and Noora are staying out of everything, as are Isak and Even. Sitting against the mirror, Isak and Even are holding hands, Even bringing their hands to his lips to kiss Isak’s ring. They’re the only ones with something more exciting than this going on.

When Isak catches Eva’s eye, he whispers something to Even, then makes his way over to her. “Have you been reading the comments?” he asks.

Eva shakes her head. “Just some last night.”

“People are obsessed with Vilde now. Yousef too, though he hasn’t mentioned it while Vilde has not fucking stopped talking about it.”

“So they’ve moved on from you and Even?”

“Definitely not. These are just replies to comments about me and Even complaining that people only talk about me and Even. Also, there’s a small but loud group of people shipping me and you together.”

“Oh my God.”

“I read a theory about how I don’t know that I’m bi yet. Oh, and some of Sonja and Clay’s fans fucking hate me. My fans, who I apparently have now, hate Sonja and Clay. I have never talked to either of them, but Even’s apologizing to them on my behalf.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Eva begins, but Isak shakes his head to cut her off.

“It’s weird, but it’s not…it’s harmless, right? Some of it’s fucking hilarious. And if it means good things for your career, then it’s awesome.”

“You were worried about Even, though.”

“Kind of my default state,” Isak says with a smile. “He’s not reading anything, trying to stay out of whatever reality show Mutta’s creating. He said he’ll be fine as long as he focuses on dancing.”

It’s reminder for Eva that all of this means nothing if she doesn’t actually create new pieces. Turning away from Isak, she yells, “Alright! Can I get everyone focused? Now, please?”

She hears Elias say something to Mikael about getting her in focus as everything gathers in a semi-circle around her. “Can you not film this part, actually?” Eva asks. “It’s going to be more of a blunt honesty vibe than inspirational.”

“That’s what the people _want_ ,” Elias says.

“Guys, seriously, just put the camera down,” Yousef says, and Mikael obliges.

“Thank you,” Eva says. “Ok. Let’s start by acknowledging that something big has happened, and we all want different things from it. We need to respect each other in that, but also help each other achieve whatever our specific goals are. We’re a company. We’re in this together.”

“But what do you want from it, Eva?” Isak asks. “Yeah, we’re in this together, but it’s _your_ company. We’re here to support that.”

There’s murmurs of agreement from everyone, and Eva knows she needs to have an answer. “I want,” she begins, then takes a beat before continuing. “I think I want to see how big we can get. I want to compete with people like Julian Sanchez and Tilly West, and I know it’s unrealistic to even say that—”

“It’s not,” Isak says. “Youngblood is already competing with their videos. You’ve always been just as good or better than them. People are just starting notice now.”

Eva does not believe that, but she does wonder how far she could go if she did.

“I'm going to need you guys," she says. "I’m probably going to feature Isak and Even in a lot of pieces, at least while we’re building an audience, but I do want to make sure everyone gets a chance to show off. Elias, are you guys good to keep filming stuff for us? Dances, vlogs, whatever? We can feature stuff on your channel too.”

“Definitely,” Elias says.

“Awesome. I want to get something up soon—like, tomorrow soon. I’ve been choreographing a couple’s dance in my head: can we do Isak and Even, Mutta and Chris, Noora and Yousef, and me and Vilde? Mahdi, you mind sitting this one out? I want to do an epic tap number for you soon.”

That epic tap number is something she has not thought about until this moment, but Eva knows how to improv.

“No problem,” Mahdi says.

As good as Eva is at improv, she can’t choreograph an entire piece on the spot, so she’s falling back on the Feels A Lot Like Love piece she started choreographing on the tram last night. Though she only imagined it for Chris and Mutta, and still thinks that would be best, she has to incorporate Isak and Even to get views. And if people are interested in Vilde and Yousef, she better include them as well. She could’ve partnered Vilde with Mahdi, but Eva brings more out of her—and honestly, Eva wants people to get excited about her too.

“This piece is about that moment where you realize you might be in love with someone,” Eva says. “There’s excitement, there’s adrenaline, but there’s also a lot of apprehension and fear. I want one of you to live in the anxiety of that while the other person lives in the rush, until you ultimately get on the same page.”

Minutes into teaching the piece, Eva knows it’s wrong. That’s the fucking thing about creativity: it is so hard to be confident that it’s right, but so, so obvious when it’s wrong.

The piece just doesn’t call for eight dancers. There’s no reason for the couples to interact with one another, but no point in having all of them do the same choreography beside each other. And really, some of the dancers aren’t suited to this kind of story. It’s subtle, and Isak and Even…aren’t that. With each look, they’re gazing into each other’s fucking soul. It’s just too much. Yousef and Noora are fine, but boring; their dancing is too quiet to stand out against the song.

Eva’s instincts were right. This is Chris and Mutta’s piece, and even as she’s teaching them, she feels like she’s watching a performance. To her surprise, Mutta took on the anxious role, but he’s selling it with a nervous energy that’s endearing. And Chris’s excitement, as always, is contagious. Their insecurity in the style only helps tell the story.

It’s a breakout moment for both of them, but no one’s going to click on a video where they’re in the thumbnail. Maybe that’ll change when people know Mutta for narrating their vlogs, or when they finally recognize Chris for how fucking talented she is, but that’s not where things are right now, and this piece is all Eva has right now.

So, she keeps teaching a piece she’ll never be proud of.

\---

Eva does not choreograph on the tram to Jonas’s because she is fucking exhausted.

Not only did she finish teaching Feels A Lot Like Love, but they cleaned and filmed it. Elias and Mikael are editing it, promising it’ll be up by morning. Eva texts as much to Eline, scrolls through comments on her videos already asking when she’s going to put out something new, and then she’s at one of her homes.

When she sees Jonas, she kisses him because fuck, that’s what she needs to do after how weird today’s been. She needs to feel like herself, she needs to feel loved for being that person, but when she slides her hands down to Jonas’s waist, he lifts them off.

“What?” she asks, already breathless. She is a fucking good kisser.

Jonas pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it to her. It’s opened to Isak’s Instagram, who has shared a screenshot of the BuzzFeed article with the caption. _This article doesn’t acknowledge the person actually responsible for this piece: Eva Kviig Mohn. She choreographed it, and if you check out her YouTube channel (link in bio), you’ll see just how talented she is. I wouldn’t be dancing with her. I wouldn’t have met Even without her. She deserves all the credit for Youngblood and basically every other good thing in my life._

Eva loves Isak, but she could fucking kill him.

And of course Isak and Jonas are friends—hell, Jonas is friends with almost everyone in Eight Count now. Of course he was going to see this. She can’t separate him from that part of her life, and she doesn’t even know why she wants to—

“What am I doing wrong?” Jonas asks.

It’s another perfectly fair question, and this time Eva gives an honest answer. “Nothing.”

“Then I don’t get it, Eva. Did you think I wouldn’t be supportive?”

He isn’t mad—or, he doesn’t seem that way to Eva. He’s just confused.

“No.”

“That I wouldn’t take it seriously because it’s BuzzFeed?”

“No.”

“Can you just be honest with me instead of playing twenty questions?”

Honestly, no, but Eva knows she has to try. “I don’t know! It’s just been a lot. My life basically changed overnight, and now I’m having emergency meetings with Eline where she’s talking about L.A., and rehearsals where we’re talking about Eight Count’s _brand_ …I’m still processing, that’s all.”

“But that’s why we have each other, right? To talk through this stuff with? Otherwise, what’s the fucking point?”

Eva shrugs because he’s right; he’s always right about their relationship. Eva just doesn’t always do what’s right. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Jonas says, but she only believes him when he puts his hands on her waist. “But fuck, _talk_ to me. I know we’re good at the other stuff—”

Eva smirks. “We’re great at it.”

“But I like talking to you. You’re cool as shit. And with your career, I’m on your side. I want the chance to be excited with you when something really fucking cool happens.”

Eva’s watched a lot of dance movies.

And the female lead’s boyfriend at the beginning of the movie is, typically, a bit of a dick. He does not believe in her career, doesn’t like her friends, and usually becomes extra villainous right when hot dancer comes in to literally sweep the lead off her feet.

Jonas is not that. He’s a good guy, and he is the best partner Eva’s ever had. While he may not exactly fit the hot dancer archetype, they have that kind of chemistry with each other. It can be kind of magical.

So, how can Eva be unsatisfied with what’s meant to be her happy ending? It’s not that she wants to be with someone else. It’s not even that she doesn’t want to be with him.

She just wants more: some vague, totally undefinable idea of _more_. Now that she’s getting that with her career, maybe things with Jonas will fall into place. Maybe she does just need to let him in. Maybe this is not her happy ending, but the climax of her story. Maybe a year from now, she’ll have a shitty apartment with Jonas in L.A. and wonder why she let the good things in her life stress her out. 

For now, she goes to bed with Jonas to preserve their connection.


	3. Third

 Eva begins to neglect her routine.

It’s been a month since the article, a month since her Instagram followers tripled, and a month since she felt like herself. Instead of starting her day with improv, she’s replying to emails about everything from collaborations to sponsorship opportunities. Instead of choreographing on the tram, she’s reading YouTube comments that range from _was going to do homework but Eva dropped a new video so guess i’m failing!_ to _Anyone else think it’s gross how Eva uses Isak and Even for views???_ Instead of talking to Jonas, she’s working while he’s studying, an arrangement that’s essentially eliminated conflict in their relationship.

It’s good. It’s all supposed to be good.

And today, Eva’s where she never expected to be: Ingrid’s apartment. As Ingrid sets up the lights for their shoot, Eva watches her, kind of impressed. She may have underestimated the skill involved in the career Ingrid’s built for herself.

“How’d you learn all of this?” Eva asks for something to say. She’s thrown back to being fourteen and backstage at a dance competition, trying to connect with her biggest competitor, the girl who was always more talented than her, prettier than her, and just generally better than her. There was part of Eva that was always trying to impress Ingrid then, and being here today, she’s realizing that part may still be there. It’s hard to forget being fourteen.

“Honestly? YouTube videos,” Ingrid answers. “Everything comes full circle.”

“Including us.”

Ingrid smiles, warm. It’s weird, because they haven’t always been kind to each other. Mostly passive aggressive Instagram posts, vagueing about _typical competition girls_ as teens and _trendy choreography_ as adults. That’s not what comes up when they begin their Q&A though, Ingrid tackling a question about how they became friends despite being competitors.

“We had a rivalry, sure,” Ingrid says. “But it was a healthy one. We pushed each other to become better dancers and supported each other in that.”

“You want people like that,” Eva adds. “Who will both help and challenge you.”

“Absolutely. You know, I always remember one competition when we were…fifteen, I think? And this judge tore into me for dancing ‘too provocatively.’ I was so embarrassed, but you found me backstage, called her a name I won’t repeat on camera, and said that my solo was really good.”

Eva remembers that too. After that competition, she reenacted Ingrid’s solo for Isak in a way that was not gracious. Shaking her ass, she asked _Is this provocative?_ in mock ignorance.

In-between filming the Q&A and the piece they’re going to choreograph together, Eva texts Isak: _I think I’m a bad person._

“Don’t make me fun of me for this,” Ingrid says, moving her equipment around to give them space to dance. “But I’m kind of freaking out that we’re working together.”

“What?”

“You’re like, the biggest choreographer in Norway right now.” 

“Maybe, but it’s not like you need the views.”

Ingrid rolls her eyes. “It’s not about that. I just want to a dance in a way that inspires me again and, I don’t know. Your work does that.”

Fourteen-year-old Eva thinks she’s being ingenuine, trying to capitalize off Eva’s success. And maybe that’s part of it, but the Eva who’s trying to grow chooses to believe Ingrid instead. As she makes that decision, she gets a reply from Isak:

 _You’re right. You took me in my when my home life was shit._  
_You started Eight Count and gave us all opportunities._  
 _You helped Noora open up to people._  
 _You got Even dancing again._  
 _You gave Vilde confidence._  
 _You’re a monster._

“I saw on Instagram that you’re going to L.A.?” Ingrid says. Eva nods: she leaves tomorrow. Isak and Even are going with her in what they’re calling a pre-honeymoon because when you’re as in love as they are, you can get away with that kind of shit. “God, I’m so jealous.”

It has never occurred to Eva that Ingrid could be jealous of her.

“If you career continues like this, you could probably move there,” Ingrid says.

“Well, I’m just visiting now,” Eva says. “Trying not to get ahead of myself.”

“Eva, this is when you should get ahead of yourself. Use your momentum.”

“You sound like my agent.”

 “Then maybe we have a point.”

Of course they do, and that’s why Eva’s going but…after Isak’s text, she wishes she had more time to actually rehearse with Eight Count instead of throwing up videos of whatever bullshit she choreographs on the spot to whatever Ariana Grande’s single is that week. And weirdly, she wants to spend time with Ingrid now: she has years of a neglected friendship to atone for.

Then again, if she gets ahead of herself and considers moving to L.A., maybe she needs to distance herself from some relationships in Norway anyway.

She still feels guilty when she leaves Ingrid’s early to pack.

\---

In the airport, Eva’s alone with Even.

They have a long layover in Heathrow, and through a very fair, democratic vote, Isak was elected to get them coffee. A few minutes into his absence, Eva’s regretting not volunteering herself.

She likes Even. Everyone likes Even. She just hasn’t spent much time alone with him, and truthfully, she still finds him a bit intimidating. It’s strange to be a fan of someone and then their friend, though Isak got over that weirdness quickly.

And if she’s being even more truthful than that, she knows there’s more to it. Though he would never say it himself, Even’s the reason Eight Count still exists. He brought a new, much-needed energy to it. Not to mention, he helped Isak when Eva was too caught up in her own shit to understand how he was hurting.

Eight Count is her company. Isak is her friend. And Even saved both of them.

Eva looks at her phone to minimize the awkwardness, but that just reminds her that she needs to text Jonas back. They had a long, lovely goodbye last night, and a shorter one this morning, so she’s not sure why he feels the need to text a goodbye message as well.

_Miss you already. You’re going to fucking kill it out there._

Fuck, is there something wrong with her for thinking that’s overkill? She doesn’t miss Jonas because it’s only been a few hours, she’s already heard his motivational speech—and then she quickly feels like an asshole for being annoyed that her boyfriend is too considerate.

Speaking of, Eva catches Isak watching the two of them from the winding coffee line, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. And Eva knows how to connect with Even.

“Don’t be alarmed,” she says, voice low. Even looks up from his own phone to meet her gaze. “But I’ve spotted a concerned Isak in the wild.”

“Ah, I’ve heard about those.”

“Now, there’s no need to panic: I’ve encountered concerned Isak’s many times. They are irritating, but harmless.”

“Any tips for me?”

“Well, half the battle is knowing what to expect. He’ll roll his eyes at you because he expresses worry through irritation.”

“Good to know he doesn’t just do that to me.”

“Oh no, it’s a classic concerned Isak move. You can also expect him to remind you that he’s here, even if he’s literally right beside you and there’s no way you could possibly forget. And be ready for him to fumble his way through some sort of motivational speech, get annoyed at himself about halfway through, but stick the landing.”

Even nods, taking his eyes off Eva to look at Isak. “I think you might be his next target,” he says.

Eva follow’s Even’s gaze to Isak, his eyes darting between the two of them. When Eva waves at him, he rolls his eyes, and Even and Eva laugh. “Told you,” she says.

“You know him well.” She does, but she understands that Even probably knows him better now. “After the engagement, I was half-expecting an _if you hurt him, I’ll kill you_ speech.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t warn you. I’d just put you in the ground.”

“Noted.”

Eva’s not actually worried about that, though. For all the concerned looks Isak directs towards Even, Even directs just as many towards Isak.  Along with grins, and winks, and expressions so honest Eva’s only ever worn them while dancing. Even probably sent Isak a _Miss you_ text when he went to get coffee, and Isak was probably not annoyed about that.

Is _that_ actually what love is? Does it have to be so…much?

“So,” Eva says when they fall into silence again. “Why are you the target of a concerned Isak today?”

“Oh, it’s just this trip,” Even says. Eva tenses, ready for a reason to feel guilty. “Going back to L.A. will be…interesting for me. That’s all.”

“Because of your exes?”

“That’s part of it, but I’m more nervous to run into some of my old mentors. They pretty much all think I’m a failure now.”

“That can’t be true.”

“I gave up a decent career in L.A. because I needed to go back home. And here, I’m not even dancing full-time. I’m happier, sure, but I spend more time making coffee than I do rehearsing. A ‘real dancer’ wouldn’t be satisfied with that.”

Since Even’s moved back to Norway, he’s never expressed wanting to go back to L.A. He seems pretty damn satisfied to Eva. “I call bullshit on that.”

“Me too, but even though I don’t buy into that, it’s kind of shameful to know everyone’s mourning my wasted potential.”

“I’m sorry,” Eva says, the guilt sinking in now. “You didn’t have to come on this trip.”

Even shakes his head. “Isak wanted to go with you, and I didn’t want to be away from him for a week, so here we are. Besides, I’m happy to support anything that’ll help your career, Eva. Eight Count is responsible for every good thing in my life.”

Eva has to smile at that. Choreography aside, she’s confident she’s created something good with her company.

\---

There are two beds in Eva’s hotel room.

She’s never had a hotel room to herself before. Despite living alone, there’s a freedom to this feels different, somehow more adult. At the same time, it’s lonelier than her apartment because, well, what the fuck does she need two beds for?

At his request, she FaceTime’s Jonas first, reassuring him that she got in safely. Then, she flips through the TV, more interested in American commercials than the actual show. With the TV as background noise, she reviews tomorrow’s schedule on her phone. Jetlag recovery in the morning, BuzzFeed interview in the afternoon, class with Julian Sanchez in the evening. Eva’s Googling tourist attractions they can fit in-between when there’s a knock at the door.

Isak’s on the other side, holding a to-go box. “We ordered too much room service,” he says, handing it to Eva. She opens it to reveal a single, somewhat sad looking taco.

As she raises her eyebrows at Isak, he says, "You're welcome."

“Your generosity is truly remarkable.” Still, Eva’s not one to turn down free food, so she settles with the taco on the bed she’s decided to reserve for eating. Isak joins her, sitting on the end of the bed.

“You have two beds.”

“It’s weird, right?”

“We only have one.”

“Cool, so this just amplifiess my loneliness.”

“You have Jonas, though? I mean, not _here_ , but…?”

Eva doesn’t say anything. Isak understands anyway.

“Oh,” he says. “I, uh, didn’t realize. I thought things were good with you guys.”

“They are. They are objectively great. It’s just—ok, like with Even. You have this connection with him that’s like you’re a living, breathing example of a Celine Dion song.”

Isak goes red. “Just because Even makes me dance to her—”

“Oh shut up, you know you’re into it. You like the grand, sweeping romance. You feel it. Am I wrong?”

“No."

“It’s just not that intense with me and Jonas. And I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t have to be, maybe I’m not cut out to love like that—”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“But I also can’t imagine loving anyone more than him?  How can that still not be enough?”

Isak doesn’t have an answer, so Eva turns her attention to the stream of notifications on her phone. Amidst all the comments, there’s one she actually cares about: a video from Mutta. Eva nudges Isak to get him to watch over her shoulder, then presses play.

“Alright, alright,” Mutta says, with Vilde peeking into frame. “Eva, while you’re out being a superstar—”

“So proud of you!” Vilde cuts in.

“We’ve been working hard too. Vilde’s been teaching me how to do fouettes. Are you ready to have your mind blown?”

“He’s almost gotten ok at them!” Chris’s voice calls from the background.

“Thanks babe,” Mutta says, backing up so his entire body is in frame. He falls out of the first turn, but still bows like he nailed it.

When Eva laughs, Isak says, “So.”

“So…?”

“Maybe there is something you love more.”

He’s not wrong, but maybe that’s been her problem. She’s given so much to Eight Count that she’s lost who she is outside of it. And maybe Jonas isn’t the problem, maybe this yearning for something more is a personal thing, something about how she can’t be satisfied with him until she’s satisfied with herself.

She could be one of those _real dancers_ Even talked about, the ones who couldn’t be happy with a quiet, piecemeal career in Norway. She could be someone who needs more. She could be someone who deserves more.

Eva has never, ever seen herself like that. It’s empowering, but also isolating, to be disconnected from the person she always thought she was.

She’ll see how she likes this new person tomorrow.


	4. Fourth

Eva begins every dance class by talking.

She usually goes with other Eight Count members, typically some combination of Isak, Vilde, and Chris, so they’ll fuck around until class begins. But even when she goes alone, she vaguely knows everyone in Oslo’s dance community well enough to say hi, ask about their current projects, and laugh about whatever shared experience they have. And though it’s a habit born of social etiquette, Eva enjoys it. She likes people, and it’s nice to check in with them outside of Instagram.

It’s not that the dancers in L.A. are cold. They’re really, really not. Some recognize her and make a point to welcome her, which is sweet. Some are too focused to make conversation with anyone, which is understandable. Some are twelve-year-old prodigies and influencers, which is just weird.

This is an industry class; the goal is to build connections, not community, and that’s fine. It’s just different back home.

It would be better if Isak was with her, but he hinted that Even wasn’t really up for class, and he’d go if Eva wanted him to, of course he would, but he didn’t want to leave Even, and there was this theatre they wanted to check out—so, Eva said it was fine. She owed them after the awkward BuzzFeed interview anyway, which turned it to be more about their relationship than it was about dance, and certainly more than it was about Eva. When it was over, Even said it validated his decision to go back to Norway, so Eva could understand why he wasn’t keen on class.

She’s still excited to be here, though. Who gets the chance to learn from not only Julian Sanchez, but also all the other incredible dancers in the room? And regardless of any hang-ups Eva has about it, it’s still an hour of dance. She’ll always enjoy that.

But when she starts learning the choreography, she gets the same itch she always does when she’s taking class. Dancing someone else’s steps, their vision…it’s awesome, and it’s fucking inspiring, but all she can think about is how she would alter the moves, what story she wants to tell. It’s reading a book when you’d rather be writing one.

She’ll always be a dancer, but career-wise, she’s a choreographer. There are more opportunities for that in L.A. than Oslo, but a hell of a lot more competition too. She’s taking class from one of the biggest competitors right now.

So, she knows what she needs to get out of this class. It’s not to master the combo. It’s not to get featured in the class video alongside the twelve-year-old influencers. It’s networking, a concept that’s always been gross to Eva, but hey. She did it with Ingrid. Eline would be proud.

When class is over, she approaches Julian as he’s surrounded by other dancers who are his actual friends. He did DM her after the BuzzFeed article saying he liked Youngblood and to take his class if she’s ever in L.A., so she waves at him with a bright “Hey!” as though he’ll be excited to see her.

She sees the confusion first, the furrowed eyebrows he quickly plays off with a warm smile. “Hi,” he says, friendly if not enthusiastic. “Have I seen you in this class before?”

Eva shakes her head. Despite the pit deepening in her stomach, she keeps her energy up to the point where she barely recognized her own voice. She kind of sounds like she did in Ingrid’s video. “No, it’s actually my first time in L.A.!”

“Cool, where are you from?”

“…Norway? I’m, uh, Eva?” _Those are facts, Eva, not fucking questions._ “I did the Youngblood video?”

“Oh shit, that’s right! You’re awesome. Well, I’m glad you came out. Come back if you’re in the city again, alright?”

He turns back to his friends as Eva says, “Sure.”

She leaves class, head spinning. How fucking arrogant of her, to assume he’d remember one dance video that was popular a month ago? And to think he’d offer to _work_ with her, just on the spot like that? BuzzFeed got her views, but not actual industry cred—and of course, it’s _BuzzFeed_ for fuck’s sake. And all those views, they only cared about Isak and Even anyway.

Beyond the embarrassment, there are other, rational thoughts, the kind that come with age, experience, and good advice. Yes, of course Julian didn’t know who she was, but he will if she keeps coming to class, if she starts to build her name in _the_ dance community as opposed to a random one on another continent. And maybe she just went to the wrong class: there are probably other choreographers who remember her, whose DMs were more genuine and less generic than his. At the very least, some people in class recognized her and treated her in a way that makes her feel like she wouldn’t be totally alone out here.

It’s just, with both her relationships and career, she’d be starting over. And she’s worked so fucking hard already in Oslo.

But…that means she can do it again. This life is not an easy one, but it’s not unattainable either.

She just has to decide if she wants it enough.

\---

L.A. ends up being ok.

Eva takes other classes: she’s recognized in some of them, she learns a lot, and she does meet people who could become her actual friends one day. There are beaches and interesting restaurants, enough tourist traps to fill the day. The BuzzFeed article goes live and it seems like no one reads it at all.

Eva reports the trip exactly like that to both Eline and Jonas, filling her stories with how inspired she was, how much she _grew_ , how she could see herself living their one day. They’re proud, but come on. It was only a week.

Though she was able to distract Jonas from dwelling on the trip, Eline, for good reason, was more invested in it. “I know it’s a slow start,” she said when they met. “But you’re already in a much better position than most people who move to L.A. for dance. I think it’s time to seriously consider moving your career out there.”

“But shouldn’t I focus on building my brand here?” Eva asked. “Sure, some people know me, but they don’t necessarily know Eight Count—”

“Eva, Eight Count isn’t following you to L.A.”

Which, of course, Eva _knew_ that. Isak and Even sure as hell weren’t moving out there. Everyone else has school they’re invested in or jobs they’re committed to. Vilde’s the only one who might consider it, but even then—she wants to be the best dancer, not necessarily a professional one.

But it still deflated her a bit, to hear it.

“They’ve gotten more attention through your YouTube channel, like you wanted,” Eline says. “But at this stage of your career, they’re not going to get you any further.”

“What does that mean?” Eva asked.

“It’s time for you to make a choice.”

Eva tells different stories about L.A. when she’s with Eight Count.

She talks about the Julian situation in all its awkward, uncomfortable glory; how the only question BuzzFeed asked her was how she _got_ to work with Isak and Even as though they weren’t members of _her_ company; how she was featured in one class, but cut from the video that ended up on YouTube. Even, who was quiet for the most of the trip, is chiming in too, criticizing the classes he used to take for becoming commercialized. “Even without my personal shit,” he says. “I knew it was time to leave when they brought a fog machine into class.” Which seems fair to Eva.

It’s not embarrassing or shameful, or at least, Eva isn’t bothering with those emotions. It’s kind of funny, a feeling that’s validated as her friends laugh at her stories, gently ribbing her for expecting to be a name in L.A. after one viral video.

“It’s cool, though,” Vilde says, changing the conversation’s tone. “That you were able to go and meet those people. Networking is more important than dancing for your career.”

“I guess,” Eva says. “But I’d rather dance.”

“That’ll come,” Vilde says, then puts on a smile Eva’s known her long enough to know isn’t genuine. “Once you leave us to choreograph for, Justin Bieber or something.”

“Eva, if that day ever comes, I’m ending our friendship,” Isak says.

“Even if I hire you as a back-up dancer?” Eva teases.

“Especially then.”

“I’m not leaving you guys for Justin Bieber,” Eva says.

“But you will for something, right?” Vilde says. “Your followers are still growing, your network’s bigger, and you’re definitely talented enough…it’s just timing now.”

At what time will Eva be ok with leaving Eight Count? 

“Let’s not talk about that,” she says. “Can we just rehearse?”

Everyone’s agreeable, but truthfully, Eva has nothing prepared. Choreographing on the fly has become a habit, but she wants to give her company something better than that. They deserve it.

Mutta’s left the camera crew at home, per Eva’s request, so maybe they should take advantage of the privacy instead. “I was thinking,” she says, improvising her own rehearsal. “We could use today for training? I know different people need different things, but we’d all benefit from working on our partnering—especially with people we don’t usually work with. And we can end with some improv. Sound good?”

It’s an unusual rehearsal for them, but they agree because they trust her. Eva enjoys coaching them through lifts, exercises that require total faith in your partner, because that’s what they’re about as a company.

And though Eva didn’t plan it this way, it’s a really fucking run rehearsal, full of discovery as everyone learns how to work with new partners. Eva, who always pairs herself with Isak or Vilde, spends most of her time with Yousef instead. He’s not as strong as either of them, but he’s such an intentional, connected dancer that Eva feels safe with him. When they get to improv, Eva sees different sides of everyone. With Chris, Even’s goofier. With Mutta, Noora’s more free. With Isak, Mahdi’s stronger. Vilde, taking a turn with everyone, is fucking solid, confident in a way Eva hasn’t seen before.

Eight Count is not stagnant. They can get so much fucking better, and they _are_ getting there. It’s more exciting than anything that happened in L.A.

Eva wants to see it through, but how can she? Vilde is right, Eline is right: she can’t have this and a career in L.A. There’s a fucking ocean in the way.

Eva hangs back after rehearsal, and Isak knows, he always just knows, to stay too—even after Even leaves.

“Don’t you have to go home and profess your love to each other over a candlelight dinner?” Eva asks once they’re alone.

“No, we do that on Wednesdays. It’s like you don’t know me at all.”

Eva rolls her eyes, but she’s grateful.

“I’m here for you,” Isak says, sliding down the mirror to sit against it. Eva follows his lead. “What’s up?”

“Haven’t you heard? My career is in the perfect spot. I have _connections_. I could choreograph for the Biebs himself.”

“And you sound thrilled.”

“It’s just—Eline said I should seriously start thinking about L.A. Like, now.”

“…Oh.”

Despite his best efforts to hide them, Isak wears every single emotion on his face. Eva reads his disappointment and his attempt to cover it. She elbows him and says, “You’d miss me?”

“I don’t know what gave you that impression.”

“But you would.”

“Yeah, of course Eva. It would fucking suck, but if it’s best for you—you have to go, right?”

“I don’t know if I want to.”

Eva’s never voiced that before, and it comes out small, insecure in even her own uncertainty. Isak’s the only person she trusts those kind of thoughts with.

“Ok,” Isak says, accepting her thoughts even when she can’t. “What’s the problem with that?”

“Well, that’s the path, right? If I want to be a choreographer, I have to go.”

“First, you already are a choreographer, so fuck that. Second, it’s _a_ path, but it’s not the only one. I mean, it’s not the one Even took.”

“Even’s happy making coffee and dancing as a hobby. I’m sorry if this makes me sound like an asshole, but I don’t think I’d be satisfied with that.”

“It does kind of make you sound like an asshole.”

Eva raises her eyebrows, but she’s not that surprised by Isak’s frankness. You can’t be a good dancer or a good friend without honesty, and Isak's fucking great at both.

“I mean,” Isak continues. “You think you wouldn’t be making coffee in L.A. for years before you ‘make it’ as a choreographer? Everyone without rich parents has a fucking day job. At least here, you have the studio.”

That’s true, and Eva really doesn’t mind taking care of it. She likes the social aspect of getting to know the dancers, especially becoming a sort of mentor to the younger ones who, in their words, isn’t as scary as their ballet teacher.

“Am I settling, though?” Eva asks. “Like, what if I’m just talking myself out of it because I’m scared?”

“Bullshit, you’re not scared,” Isak says, with more confidence in her than she knows how to have in herself. “You went to all those classes in L.A. by yourself and introduced yourself to the biggest names in the industry. That takes fucking balls.”

“Apparently not,” Eva says with a smirk.

“See, you’re fine. I don’t know, is the question why you don’t want to go? Or is it why you want to stay?”

“For Eight Count.”

“Yeah.”

“But that’s shortsighted, right? You guys are going to graduate, get jobs, get fucking _married,_ and then where will I be? And don’t give me some bullshit about how you’ll always be around because you know things are changing. We’re old, Isak. _Old_.”

“I don’t know what’ll happen with Eight Count, but I know you, and I know how you can build a community. Companies change dancers all the time. Eight Count could be the company young dancers in Oslo audition for.”

Eva never considered that.

“And you’re wrong, by the way,” Isak continues. “I might not always be in Eight Count, I might not always live in Oslo, but I’m always going to be here for you. Unless you choreograph for Justin Bieber.”

Eva smiles. “Fair.”

“What does Jonas think about all this?”

There’s another truth Eva hasn’t allowed herself to voice.

“I don’t think I care what he thinks about it. And I know that’s awful—”

“Only if you’re not honest with him about it.”

Eva knows he’s right. She’s just never broken up with someone she still _likes_ before.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Eva says. “Like, about anything.”

“That’s fine. Just take a beat.”  


	5. Fifth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're here! ❤️ This fic has a small readership, but I am so, so grateful to everyone who's left kudos and/or comments--they encouraged me to keep going along the way! I hope you enjoy the end. ❤️
> 
> Songs referenced in this chapter:  
> [Dance Only With Me ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcxV2PDvuSE)  
> [Remember](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl9rFir6v8I) (aka the Skam France song)

 

Eva takes a beat.

Alone in the studio, she puts her playlist on shuffle. Isak said it’s how he and Even fell in love, so.  Maybe it’ll work for her.

But, she doesn’t have the patience to honour the rules of the shuffle game. She skips songs she’s choreographed to and songs the industry demands she choreographs to, which is basically everything by Ariana Grande and Billie Eilish. She skips the go-to’s from her competition days: This Woman’s Work, Collide, all acoustic covers of Toxic. She skips everything that’s too fast, everything without dynamics, everything that doesn’t feel just right.

And then, an acapella voice: _So you say, all you want is to be remembered._

Eva only vaguely knows the song; she Shazam’d it while watching some French show with Vilde because something about it just struck her gut. She knew it was a song she needed to dance to.

She may as well try now.

It doesn’t come easy. There’s no burst of inspiration that carries her, no sense that her body’s moving beyond her control. Eva’s aware of the tightness in her hips, the redundancy in her movement, the lack of support from her core.

So, she works through it. That’s what real dancers do.

Eva puts the song on a loop and dances until she’s doing something different, something new, something that could be inspiring. She dances until she’s confident in the strength and ability of her own body. She dances until she’s not imaging herself anymore, but Vilde, demonstrating performance. Mahdi, demonstrating rhythm. Yousef, demonstrating intention. Mutta, demonstrating fun. Chris, demonstrating play. Noora, demonstrating precision. Even, demonstrating passion. Isak, demonstrating love.

And Eva knows what she wants to do.

\---

She starts with Jonas.

Eva’s flushed red when she gets to Jonas’s after the studio, exhausted in that specific way that also invigorates her, something only dancing can achieve. “You look happy,” Jonas says by way of greeting.

Eva would agree, she _is_ , but it’s kind of a dick thing to say to someone whose heart you’re about to break. He’s been so good to her, so kind, so supportive—way better than any male lead in any dance movie. She needs to be better to him, and this is the only way.

“Jonas.”

He must hear the shift in her tone, the truth she’s about to express through her words instead of her body for a change, because he sighs and shifts his gaze to the floor.

“Do we have to do this?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

“It fucking sucks, though.”

“I agree.”

Taking a beat of his own, Jonas decides to make them tea to make it suck a little less. Sitting beside each other on his couch, he says, “If this is about L.A., you know, I was serious before. I’d go with you. I could get a job at BuzzFeed or something.”

 “Have you read the news lately?”

“I’m just saying. We’d make it work.”

“I wish it was that,” Eva says. “Because the way I’m feeling doesn’t even make sense. You are a great boyfriend, and I love you, but it’s not….”

“Not what?”

“It’s not what Isak and Even have, and to be honest, I don’t even know if I want that. I just know it’s not fair for me to stay with you if that’s what you want, and it is, right?”

Eva doesn’t need to see Jonas nod to know she’s right. He is not exactly romantic, but his laidback nature is often confused with apathy, which is definitely not the case. When Jonas cares, he cares deeply, and he deserves someone who will care deeply about him.

“What do you want, Eva?”

“I want to dance with my friends. I think that’s the great love of my life. Maybe that’s stupid.”

“I don’t think it is.”

“I don’t really, either.”

They smile at each other over their mugs.

“Can I ask you for something, then?” Jonas says.

“Yeah,” Eva says. “Sure.”

“Dance with me?”

Jonas’s hand was already guiding her off the couch when he asked. He plays the old standard Dance Only With Me  from his phone, the song Eva forced him to dance to after their first date, swaying in his kitchen the same way they are now.

“Hey, whatever you do,” Jonas says into her ear as they dance. “You’re going to kick ass

Eva decides to accept that.

\---

Next, Eline.

Eva feels a bit guilty about the whole thing, knowing that her success would mean success for Eline as well, but maybe there’s more than one way to achieve that.

“I’m not going to L.A.,” Eva says in the meeting. “At least, not right now. I want to stay and work with Eight Count.”

“I thought you might say that,” Eline says. “So, it is literally my job to make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons. Is it because L.A. would be hard?”

“No. I can work hard.”

“Do you understand how you career would be limited here? I’m not saying you won’t get jobs, but where you’re at right now is probably where your career will plateau. You’ll likely always need second and even third jobs.”

“Like I said, I can work hard.”

“Are you doing this just because you’ll miss your friends if you move?”

“Not just because of that,” Eva says. “But yeah, that’s a part of it. I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I’m a person. I’m not my career.”

“It’s harder though, to separate those two when you’re a dancer.”

“It would be even harder in L.A.”

Eline nods. “And what’s your plan in the long-term, for Eight Count? It’s not going to keep these same members forever.”

Eva tells her what she discussed with Isak, about building up the company in Oslo until it’s _the_ company dancers hope to just audition for. “I really do think we can get to that place,” Eva says. “If you’ll help me?”

Eline smiles. “I wouldn’t miss the chance to work with Norway’s top choreographer.”

\---

Finally, Eight Count.

But before the entire company arrives for rehearsal, it’s just her and Isak, and Eva wouldn’t have it any other way. Before she can tell him about her life revelation, he blurts out, “I wanted to ask you something.”

Eva raises her eyebrows. “Ok?”

“So, you know how Even and I are getting married?”

“No, Isak. I’ve missed the thousands of Instagram posts you make about it.”

“Anyway, we were wondering, or I was wondering—would you be my best woman?”

Eva laughs, which was not the reaction Isak was looking for based on his scowl. “Dude,” she says, punching his arm. “Obviously. Do you know how pissed I’d be if you’d asked anyone else?”

“I just didn’t know if you’d be, you know, available. You could be on the road with Justin Bieber by then.”

“I don’t think that’ll be an issue.”

The first person to arrive for rehearsal is Ingrid, a last-minute invite by Eva. If she’s going to stay in Oslo, that’s a friendship she wants to invest in, especially given how she screwed it up in their teens. And hey, it gives them even numbers.

“I love having new members,” Eva says, greeting her with a hug. “You’re actually on time.”

Ingrid smiles. “I’m just excited to dance again. Especially with you.”

When they separate, Isak approaches Eva and whispers, “I know you’re doing a nice thing, but do I have to be nice to her?”

“ _Yes._ And you just gave me power to sabotage your wedding, so you might want to listen to me.”

“I could always ask someone like Mutta to be my best man instead.”

“Are you kidding? He’ll probably dab when you guys kiss ‘for the vine.’ And vine doesn’t even exist anymore.”

“Guess I’m lucky to have you, then.”

Eva knows that she’s the lucky one.

Once the entire company is together, Eva tells them their futures.

“Alright,” she says. “As you know, the _Making Movement_ festival is coming up in May. We still have time to make a submission if we work quickly.”

Her plan is met with furrowed eyebrows and confused mumbles from the group. “You mean the festival we didn’t get into last year?” Mahdi asks.

“Are you still going to be around in May?” Noora adds.

“Yes and yes,” Eva says. “I’ve decided to stay in Oslo to make Eight Count the best company here. And I know you’re not going to all be members forever, but that’s why we’ll start bringing new ones in. Like Ingrid.”

Ingrid smiles and says, “I got into the festival last year, so I can help you guys.”

Eva catches Isak rolling his eyes. “Eva’s choreography is already good enough,” he says. “The judges were just fucking blind last year.”

“Well, I’m excited to have your help, Ingrid,” Eva says with a pointed look at Isak. “Having a piece at the festival will establish our credibility as a company, so this needs to be the best fucking thing we can make.”

“You’re really not going to L.A.?” Vilde asks. “At all?”

“No,” Eva says. “Not right now.”

It’s Isak who asks the most important question. “And this is what you want?”

“Yeah. I want to be here for your wedding. And Chris and Mutta’s eventual one,” she says, earning a smile from both of them. “And for everyone’s graduations, and housewarmings…but also for boring nights where just hang out and dance.”

Eva’s being somewhat disingenuous. Those nights aren’t boring at all.

“Our festival piece is about being remembered,” Eva continues. “But it’s not about creating something, or becoming famous, or doing anything that would make your death make the news. It’s how we’re remembered through our relationships. Our legacy is one another, and that’s the message we need to communicate.”

Eva plays the song through a few times to get everyone familiar with it, then explains that they’ll all partner everyone else in the company. “Every single relationship here is significant,” Eva says. “That’s what makes Eight Count special.”

And if that isn’t evident when they begin to dance.

Dancing with Noora, there’s trust. With Mahdi, there’s inspiration. With Mutta, there’s freedom. With Vilde, there’s strength. With Yousef, there’s connection. With Chris, there’s commitment. With Even, there’s vulnerability. With Ingrid, there’s redemption.

With Isak, there’s everything at once.

And Eva, Eva’s motivated to do even more, to pull freedom out of Yousef and trust out of Vilde; to train new dancers, showcasing their strengths and working on their weaknesses; to create beautiful pieces with the best people.

Eva began the year at the barre, cycling through the five positions, everything a dancer is supposed to do. She tried to become who a dancer is supposed to be. And she decided to fuck that.

She let go of the barre.  


End file.
